Everybody was pulling for DJ last night. It was great to see him have one of his best games, but it's too bad it didn't end with a victory. I got to thinking that not many people know how he must feel to come back and play this game. I'm sure he felt his dad would have wanted him to. After thinking about it this morning I realized I had a similar experience when I lost my mother and wondered if anyone else had a similar experience that they would be willing to share.
I was a junior in high school when my mother died. She had been battling cancer for years, so unlike DJ's father, losing her was not unexpected. But it still hurt a lot. It was in the middle of track season. When I would bring home metals, it was as if I was doing it for her. One of her favorite medals was one my older brother won at the Council Bluffs relays. I brought home three and was so proud to show them to her during her last days.
We visited her in the hospital the day before she passed. It was a strange time, as my cousin had broken his leg in track practice as was in a nearby room. The cousin was the son of my mom's sister. So there was a lot of family present. Maybe they knew my mom didn't have much longer. I knew she was very sick, but had no idea that would be the last time I would see her.
I learned of her passing the next day at school. I remember going to a chemistry lab class and could overhear others asking if I knew. Probably wondering why I was there. Where else was I to go? Nobody told me what the rules were. Except my mom that never let me skip school. Later in the afternoon my dad came and asked if I wanted to come home. I just felt it would be better for me to keep occupied with school, although she was the only thing on my mind. Maybe I should have went home for my dad, but I wasn't thinking about his pain. I had enough to deal with myself. At track practice my coach was wondering if I was planning to compete in the Glenwood Relays and I told him I was. I needed it and wanted to bring home some more metals in memory of my mom. Glenwood was my coach's hometown and these relays meant a lot to him. I felt no pressure, but he really needed me for us to make a good showing against mostly bigger schools.
During this time I remember how my friends meant so much to me to help ease the pain. The day of her funeral was the only day of high school I missed, but I figured my mother would forgive me for that. I ended up getting a perfect attendance metal when I graduated, so they didn't count that day missed against me. It turns out not many were in school that day. All the businesses shut down that day for her funeral. I don't know that I'd ever heard of that happening before or after. I guess it's because my dad ran one of the businesses on main street, the TV repair shop.
A few weeks after her funeral the state track meet was held in Marion, Iowa. When we returned that day, the house was full of my dad's friend and relatives who were helping him prepare Thank You cards. I'll never forget it. All the women were in the kitchen with my dad working on the cards. All the men were in the living room. I came home with three state metals strategically stashed in my pockets. Years before my older brother had won a 2nd place metal from state for the 2 mile relay, which they were proud of him for. My dad asked how we did. I was a junior and I don't think he expected us to win anything. I pull out the first metal, "We got 4th in the 2 mile relay". He briefly acknowledged it, said good job and then went back to work with the ladies. Remember he was still in pain dealing with our loss. Then I pull out the next metal, "And we got 2nd place in the mile relay". He stopped a little longer this time and showed off my metals to all the women at the table. When that excitement subsided I pull out my final metal, "and we won the 800 relay". At that point my dad got really excited and grabbed me and all the metals to go out and repeat the show to the men in the other room. I'll never forget that because the father of the 100 yard dash school record holder was in that room. That sprinter was my idol as he was setting the standard when I was just old enough to notice. A 10-flat 100 yard dash may not sound fast now, but for a small school he was the gold standard and nobody could touch him in the area. All these memories are what made a painful time easier.
Losing a parent for a 16 year old kid is hard. For me it was only the second person close to me to die. Her younger sister died of cancer a couple years earlier. I imagine DJ found some comfort in the support from the coaches, players, fans and even our opponent last night. The entire process and his good performance will help him deal with this. I can't imagine a better coach than Prohm if you have to go through something like this. Once the pain subsides, and that may take a long time, DJ will be able to look back on this time and have some good memories to soften the pain. My mom died 49 years ago, and although I still miss her, most of my thoughts are of the good friends, the athletic and scholastic achievements, and the stories like the ones I have told.
I was a junior in high school when my mother died. She had been battling cancer for years, so unlike DJ's father, losing her was not unexpected. But it still hurt a lot. It was in the middle of track season. When I would bring home metals, it was as if I was doing it for her. One of her favorite medals was one my older brother won at the Council Bluffs relays. I brought home three and was so proud to show them to her during her last days.
We visited her in the hospital the day before she passed. It was a strange time, as my cousin had broken his leg in track practice as was in a nearby room. The cousin was the son of my mom's sister. So there was a lot of family present. Maybe they knew my mom didn't have much longer. I knew she was very sick, but had no idea that would be the last time I would see her.
I learned of her passing the next day at school. I remember going to a chemistry lab class and could overhear others asking if I knew. Probably wondering why I was there. Where else was I to go? Nobody told me what the rules were. Except my mom that never let me skip school. Later in the afternoon my dad came and asked if I wanted to come home. I just felt it would be better for me to keep occupied with school, although she was the only thing on my mind. Maybe I should have went home for my dad, but I wasn't thinking about his pain. I had enough to deal with myself. At track practice my coach was wondering if I was planning to compete in the Glenwood Relays and I told him I was. I needed it and wanted to bring home some more metals in memory of my mom. Glenwood was my coach's hometown and these relays meant a lot to him. I felt no pressure, but he really needed me for us to make a good showing against mostly bigger schools.
During this time I remember how my friends meant so much to me to help ease the pain. The day of her funeral was the only day of high school I missed, but I figured my mother would forgive me for that. I ended up getting a perfect attendance metal when I graduated, so they didn't count that day missed against me. It turns out not many were in school that day. All the businesses shut down that day for her funeral. I don't know that I'd ever heard of that happening before or after. I guess it's because my dad ran one of the businesses on main street, the TV repair shop.
A few weeks after her funeral the state track meet was held in Marion, Iowa. When we returned that day, the house was full of my dad's friend and relatives who were helping him prepare Thank You cards. I'll never forget it. All the women were in the kitchen with my dad working on the cards. All the men were in the living room. I came home with three state metals strategically stashed in my pockets. Years before my older brother had won a 2nd place metal from state for the 2 mile relay, which they were proud of him for. My dad asked how we did. I was a junior and I don't think he expected us to win anything. I pull out the first metal, "We got 4th in the 2 mile relay". He briefly acknowledged it, said good job and then went back to work with the ladies. Remember he was still in pain dealing with our loss. Then I pull out the next metal, "And we got 2nd place in the mile relay". He stopped a little longer this time and showed off my metals to all the women at the table. When that excitement subsided I pull out my final metal, "and we won the 800 relay". At that point my dad got really excited and grabbed me and all the metals to go out and repeat the show to the men in the other room. I'll never forget that because the father of the 100 yard dash school record holder was in that room. That sprinter was my idol as he was setting the standard when I was just old enough to notice. A 10-flat 100 yard dash may not sound fast now, but for a small school he was the gold standard and nobody could touch him in the area. All these memories are what made a painful time easier.
Losing a parent for a 16 year old kid is hard. For me it was only the second person close to me to die. Her younger sister died of cancer a couple years earlier. I imagine DJ found some comfort in the support from the coaches, players, fans and even our opponent last night. The entire process and his good performance will help him deal with this. I can't imagine a better coach than Prohm if you have to go through something like this. Once the pain subsides, and that may take a long time, DJ will be able to look back on this time and have some good memories to soften the pain. My mom died 49 years ago, and although I still miss her, most of my thoughts are of the good friends, the athletic and scholastic achievements, and the stories like the ones I have told.
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