It's pretty slow on the ol' Board - so some sophomoric (but true) humor to lighten the mood (for some).
A buddy I was talking to recently reminded me of a story that happened to his friend - let's call the friend "Dan."
Dan went out one Friday night and hit it pretty hard - including a midnight breakfast at some greasy spoon on the way home. He gets up the next morning and remembers that his fairly new girlfriend is coming over in about an hour so they can go to lunch. To sweat out the hangover, he decides to go for a run first. He gets a mile or two from his house when his stomach starts to rumble. Not good. He immediately turns around and starts to jog for home - but the lower GI pressure gets so bad he has to semi-power walk the last half mile. No real cover - no place to stop - cars driving by.
By the time Dan gets back to his front door - he is losing the battle and "leaking." He finishes up in the bathroom and gets himself cleaned up and dressed. He comes out into living room to see crap splatters across the hardwood floor...and his girlfriend parking in front of his house.
He grabs a wet towel and starts to clean the floor - and takes another wet towel and wraps it around his fairly old black lab ("Duke") who is laying in the kitchen. The GF comes in - sees whats left of the mess and smells the smell. Dan goes - "yeah, Duke had an accident all over the floor - musta ate something that disagreed with him. Poor guy...he's getting old."
The GF loves Duke and as she's consoling the dog, Duke is looking up at Dan with a look that says, "are you sh!tting me? YOU crap your pants - and you're throwing ME under the bus for it?" Duke wouldn't look at or acknowledge Dan for a week. Dan never told the GF that Duke took the fall - until after they got married.
I was crying I was laughing so hard. Poor Duke...
A buddy I was talking to recently reminded me of a story that happened to his friend - let's call the friend "Dan."
Dan went out one Friday night and hit it pretty hard - including a midnight breakfast at some greasy spoon on the way home. He gets up the next morning and remembers that his fairly new girlfriend is coming over in about an hour so they can go to lunch. To sweat out the hangover, he decides to go for a run first. He gets a mile or two from his house when his stomach starts to rumble. Not good. He immediately turns around and starts to jog for home - but the lower GI pressure gets so bad he has to semi-power walk the last half mile. No real cover - no place to stop - cars driving by.
By the time Dan gets back to his front door - he is losing the battle and "leaking." He finishes up in the bathroom and gets himself cleaned up and dressed. He comes out into living room to see crap splatters across the hardwood floor...and his girlfriend parking in front of his house.
He grabs a wet towel and starts to clean the floor - and takes another wet towel and wraps it around his fairly old black lab ("Duke") who is laying in the kitchen. The GF comes in - sees whats left of the mess and smells the smell. Dan goes - "yeah, Duke had an accident all over the floor - musta ate something that disagreed with him. Poor guy...he's getting old."
The GF loves Duke and as she's consoling the dog, Duke is looking up at Dan with a look that says, "are you sh!tting me? YOU crap your pants - and you're throwing ME under the bus for it?" Duke wouldn't look at or acknowledge Dan for a week. Dan never told the GF that Duke took the fall - until after they got married.
I was crying I was laughing so hard. Poor Duke...
